This lawyer is the best! Flip the bird

Sometimes you gotta take the opportunity to spice things up. It is especially sweet when the opposition gets offended and flustered and whines in objection. I suspect that most trial attorneys are in fact the eldest child and get some childish pleasure out of antagonizing the other side. I know I do.

From Ann

The Other Hand

By Shannon

Bin Laden was armed and resisted and was shot after a long firefight.  No, Bin Laden was unarmed when he was shot and no weapons or explosives were found in the house.  No, Bin Laden was within reach of 2 guns.  No no, Bin Laden was reaching for one of the very few weapons found in the house when he was shot.

Porn scanner at airports can see to the bone like an x-ray.  No, porn scanners can only see to the skin.  No, porn scanners can see through clothes EXCEPT (magically) for underwear.  (And we promise we don't accidentally hire perverts.)

Someone at Bin Laden's house used a woman as a human shield and that's why she was killed.  No, she wasn't used as a shield, but she was shooting at us.  No, she wasn't a shield and she wasn't armed, but she was shot in the leg for "rushing" a U.S. Navy Seal.  Oh, by the way, she's not dead... oh, wait, but another woman is dead. 

The border is unsecure and illegals even set traps trying to decapitate Agents on ATVs according to CBP and abcnews.com.  No, according to Napolitano says it's safe because El Paso is safe.  No, the House Oversight Committee says it's still not secure regardless of Napolitano's observations of one city.

There was a long firefight at Bin Laden's house because of fierce resistance.  No, there were no guns in the house.  No, turns out 1 out of the 5 who was killed was armed when he was killed.

I wonder what the magicians in D.C. are doing with their other hand while

we are focused on the stuff this hand is juggling.



Here's a funny article about the Bin Laden confusion:  http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2011/05/osama-bin-laden-death-obama-story.html

Courtroom Fantasy... The Musical

By Ann

Overseas, a 13 year old girl watched her father be executed in her home and witnessed her young mother get shot in the leg by a team sent by a country that would abhorrently celebrate this death. Here at home, flying would present  innocent travellers with tedious decisions such as, should we walk through a pornographic body scanner or should we get groped and prodded in our most private of parts?  And last night I had to sit through a new show  “The Voice” and watch Blake Shelton and come to terms with the fact that I will never marry him.

In light of these recent world and national events, I have decided to retreat into my work and not think about the hard stuff. 
Unfortunately, I found myself overcome with questions that were hard to answer.  I thought about things like:

Why do people confuse my role as their attorney with the roles of people who actually care about them in their personal lives?  

Why does this man with an inch thick film of what appears to be an endangered species stuck to his teeth keep telling me that he doesn’t have a girlfriend and why does he try to touch my clean hand with his fungus infected fingers when he reaches for my pen?

Why does this woman cry and tell me about her stay at a mental institution and her medications and her  need to drive even though she has been in court no less than seven times for the same thing in the last year and shouldn’t this be routine for her by now?

Why does this woman pull me to the side and tell me that her son, the one who committed a home invasion and sold drugs in front of a cop,is a good boy?

As I counseled the underclass I secretly analyzed their unique behaviors and thought processes.  The only way I could comprehend some of the insanity that I had to endure was by making the whole busy court day into a musical in my head.   Through courtroom versions of Grease, Damn Yankees, Les Miserables, and one fabricated out of my own imagination, I was able to dance and sing and understand things a little better. 
My clients believe that if I am convinced that they are good people, that  I can somehow convince the court and the prosecution to just get rid of the case.   Some even believe that an attorney is not only an advocate in a court of law but is also a mother, a lover, a friend, and a life coach. 

I learned this when in my head I belted out that the drug dealer was a good boy (in a Christina Aguilera fashion) and his parents sang in chorus that he just got mixed in with the wrong crowd.    In the fantasy, the Judge and the Prosecution were so moved that the case went in the garbage and the boy and his family flew through the window even though they didn’t grow any wings.

After the chorus, and while momentarily back in the throes of reality, I had to tell the kid that he is likely going to state prison.  And I had to tell his mom the same thing because unfortunately, the legislature didn’t create a loophole for criminals whose parents think they are good people.

While I now understood their point of view a little better, I also understood how my response to their fantasies could be somewhat anti-climatic.   

RIP Bin Laden, you accomplished your mission.

By Shannon

While my countrymen danced in the streets over the death of Bin Laden, I was struck by a news story that was overshadowed by our military's amazing accomplishment.  It was the story of a former Miss USA who travels a lot, refuses porn scans, and therefore endures "enhanced" pat downs.  She's used to them.  However, she went through Dallas/Ft. Worth Airport recently and ended up in tears because TSA touched her vagina not once... not twice... not three times... but FOUR times.  In her video describing the incident she asks if someone puts a bomb up their rectum one day, will Americans then have to endure a cavity search to get on a plane.  Personally, I fear that if that happened then many Americans would willingly bend over and submit to such a search in the name of "safety."  You may think that's blowing things out of proportion, but in all fairness we seem to be running low on common sense and backbone in this nation (except for the SEALS who showed exceptional courage on Sunday).

I remember when the porn scans were introduced via the media.  I warned my friends not to silently concede to this one.  Lawyers swear to uphold and defend the Constitution.  I begged my friends to write Congress, TSA, the White House - anyone who would listen - and demand that our rights NOT be taken from us.  I was verbally flogged for not caring enough about safety.  I care about safety, but this was too big a violation to sit back and passively accept.  Yet Americans did just that.  Do you really think a porn scan or getting molested at the airport will stop someone intent on destroying us?  Terrorists sit around all day every day thinking up ways around our security.  No matter how many liberties we give up we will NEVER stop them from coming up with new ways to kill us.

By the way, does it make any sense that the scans can see through everything EXCEPT panties???

Think someone might be lying???

"But," you say, "we haven't had another 9/11 since we started giving up our liberties."

First, we should be ashamed that we've willingly given up any liberty.  Second, yes, but 9 years of relative safety have NOT come because of porn scanners and being sexually assaulted by TSA.  Those two things didn't exist until recently and therefore cannot be credited with 9 years of safety.

After TSA molested a 3 year old child, a friend posted on Facebook that if they tried it with his daughter there would be hell to pay.  I immediately sent him a message and warned him that he no longer had the right to object (because we've given up that right too) and that if he did so he would likely find himself in federal custody indefinitely with no right to an attorney.  My friends didn't listen when I warned against the porn scans, I pray this one listens to me now.  We've given the government the right to declare anyone who questions the government in an airport or on a plane the right to declare that person a possible enemy combatant WITHOUT A HEARING before a neutral judge (another right we've given up).  That possible enemy combatant has NO RIGHT to an attorney (because we gave that one up too) during their indefinite stay with the feds.  The height from which America has fallen is staggering!  Sad that it's all due to fear.  Sadder that it's because we are desperate to control our world.  Wanna know a secret?  The only thing you have some control over is yourself and your reactions.  That's it.

If I were in the military I'd be furious that as I valiantly fight for your freedom, you cowardly piss it away.  It makes me angry enough as an attorney.  It's time for attorneys to stand up and fight for the Constitution and for the citizens even if they won't fight for themselves.  Class action lawsuits should be filed against the government, TSA, and individual agents.  You may not like how litigious our nation is, but change only occurs when the status quo costs money.  I'd also love to see District Attorneys convict a few TSA workers for Indecency or Sexual Assault when they grab genitals without some sort of probable cause or reasonable suspicion.  A couple of convictions might help TSA develop some common sense.  Consider the fact that Homeland Security and TSA are adding Agents at such a rapid rate that the odds are a few pervs are applying to work for TSA.  After all, it's the only lawful way to molest 3 year olds or anyone else.  The following video shows TSA throwing a woman to the ground for questioning them when they asked to see her bare breast to examine her nipple ring.  I wonder how long she was detained without a lawyer.  It also features 2 TSA victims:  a 71 year old man who TSA "pants-ed" in public and a 16 year old handicapped girl who was forced to take her pants down in public.  How would you like your grandfather, daughter, or sister treated this way?   

Below is the video of the former Miss USA.  This woman is someone's daughter and someone's significant other.  It could be your loved one next.  Shame on us, America!  Shame on us for letting it get this far!  Go ahead and dance in the street over a dead man - a figurehead - but understand that Bin Laden's real epitaph is this:  Bin Laden wanted to terrify America and thereby change what its citizens stood for and the very foundation upon which America rested.  RIP Bin Laden, you accomplished your mission.  America's been wiping its collective ass with the United States Constitution ever since 9/11.  You won.

"They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." ~Ben Franklin

To sign a petition demanding that Congress do something to stop intrusive pat-downs without probable cause or reasonable suspicion, go to:  http://www.susiecastillo.net/

Old September Wounds

By Ann

To know your Enemy, you must become your Enemy. ~ Sun Tzu

On this unusually warm September morning, I sat on the park bench and stared at the water.  I tried to ignore the skyscrapers behind me because I couldn’t estimate how they would fall or if the debris could reach me.  I looked across the river at NJ and prayed that if a piece of shrapnel were to fall that it would fall beside me so I could use it to float.   I was still out of breath from running and I knew two planes had already crashed into the world trade center.   There would likely be more and I assumed the city was going to be bombarded with suicide planes just like Pearl Harbor.

After that day, I would be with  friends  and family as we tried to maintain normalcy in a world that was no longer normal.  Over breakfast, one  friend told me how she watched people jump hundreds of stories to avoid burning to death.  She plainly stated that she just pretended that the people in the building were getting too hot so they would open the window and throw out their clothes.   She didn’t have to tell me that the “clothes” she saw fall were human beings and we simply didn’t say much after that.  I sipped my coffee and thought about how I was just in the towers the week before.  There was a very elegant restaurant where they had big bands and swing dancing and lots of glamour.  You could see the entire city from your table.  I listened to the big band in my head and remembered the faces of the waitstaff that I knew personally and blocked out the thought that none of them existed anymore.

I moved shortly after that.  It wasn’t just that day that got to me.  It wasn’t even the little things the days and weeks afterwards.  It wasn’t  the earthquake from the incident.  It wasn’t the plane that fell out of the sky in Queens.  It wasn’t the empty chairs held for the missing people at work and school.  It wasn’t the smell.  It wasn’t  the hundreds of pictures of missing people plastered to anything that could hold them.  It wasn’t even the anthrax panic that threatened the city and the buildings that I worked in.  

It was the sense of helplessness that got to me.  

After I moved, I watched in horror as an angry mob overseas burned  an American in the street.  They cheered and sang and danced as this man desintegrated in an unnatural pose.   I was perplexed at how animalistic, cruel, and inhumane they were.  How can these people dance on the grave of another, even a hated enemy?  They must be less than human.  They must be.   I was consumed by fear because we were now faced with a war with a people who obviously lacked the capacity to appreciate the value of human life as they were all clearly less than human.

I thought about that mob today.   Osama bin Laden was killed and people celebrated and laughed and danced and chanted in the street.  Don’t get me wrong, I am glad that people  who were victimized by 911 can find some peace in the fact that a mass murderer is no longer alive.  But I am appalled at the hateful glee that has infected the nation. I mourn the fact that we are dancing in the street and celebrating the death of a human being. A death is a death and our collective reaction makes us no better than the mob that celebrated the murder of an American.  If Sun Tzu were alive today, we could tell him that we now know our enemy because we are one and the same.