Zombies in The Law By Ann

www.bowendragon.com                                                                                                           www.zedword.blog.blogspot.com ____________

      Heart racing, palms sweating, and stomach retching, she walks.  She carries her 5’5 frame and follows an armed guard through a dark, cold, and wet cavern. To a cell inhabited by a six feet tall zombie, chained by his neck with his mouth dripping with someone else's blood, she walks.  When she gets there, he growls and spits and runs as fast as he can towards her.  Luckily, every time he gets within inches, the chain pulls him back and he slams into the wall.  The guard locks her in the room and she sits. 


To be fair, I have explored some challenges public defenders face such as antagonistic cops, the heartless prosecutor, and the good defendant in Methusalah Goes To Court.  Today I introduce you to the client who believes, like many, that public defenders are incompetent, inexperienced, secret agents for the prosecution. 
Hypothetically, when I go to court, the judge calls the list.  I stand as my client’s names are called.


Judge:  Ms. Defender do you represent the following defendants:

1. Guy who got caught on To Catch A Predator with whiskey and condoms in his pocket claiming he  was only there to teach the kid what could happen if she talks to pervs on the internet?
2. The woman aired on America’s Dumbest Criminals who robbed a video surveillance store and was clearly videotaped.
3. The guy who engaged in a high speed chase through two counties and was stopped by hitting a school bus full of children in front of hundreds of witnesses.

Defender:  Yes, yes, and yes.

The judge gives me time to speak to my clients who call me names, accuse me of being incompetent and insult me mercilessly for the next hour. They have unrealistic expectations of what can be done and believe that by attacking their public defender, they will get those results. I have to explain to these defendants legal latin terms, criminal procedure, and their rights all in less than 60 minutes.  Did you ever wonder what the  nuances,  the mannerisms, and the thought processes were of the first human like creature that emerged in evolution?

    I don’t.

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She sits and tries to ignore his grunts and screams.  Once he has exhausted himself, and stands there drooling with empty eyes….she begins.  “Well Mr. Zombie, it looks like you’re charged with Consuming a Living Person, but I believe there may be a double jeopardy issue...”  

He sighs heavily and her hair blows back covered and moved by his putrid breath, still hot from eating his last victim.  She wants to run but she stands her ground.   

Her job, her values, her constitution, they are all bigger than this guy.