DATING
The word alone is enough to strike terror in the heart of a single red-blooded American woman.
DATING AN ATTORNEY
A phrase that typically denotes one has made a good catch.
DATING AS A FEMALE ATTORNEY
A phrase that, for the single red-blooded American female attorney, stirs up an image of the lonely old spinster woman attorney with 54 cats who watched women with more divorces, more children, more debt, less stability, more helplessness, and more emotional issues get married over and over and over and over again throughout the years while they remain loved only by their pets and pitied by each other.
Pic from nylawblog.typepad.com
"So... you're an attorney." *LOOOONG PAUSE* "I guess that means you're smart," the mixture of disappointment and fear in his voice was immediately evident.
"Well, not really," I lied, wishing I had preempted this lie by lying and saying I was a waitress or a flight attendant. My prospects would be exponentially better. After all, what's sexy about a woman who has a high-power job, doesn't need a man's money, can go toe-to-toe with anyone, is paid to out-think other intelligent people, and makes her living off of her PASSION? Nothing according to most men.
We single female attorneys compare notes and we've noticed that while we remain chronically single, women without education, without ability to support themselves, with 6 failed marriages, with 12 kids by 7 different baby daddies, etc. are scooped up over and over again. We, on the other hand, (mostly never marrieds with no kids and good incomes) have all been told by men that they "need to be needed" and were leaving us because "she needs me and you can take care of yourself." Why don't men realize that there is a difference between a needy woman and a woman who needs a particular man? The latter offers a lot more freedom and means you are special and loved. The former will suck the life out of you and means you were simply there.
"Your standards are too high!" Well-meaning friends and family "constructively" criticize in order to help us find someone. However, rather than painting a picture in our minds of what we want which would be limiting, we tend to list only our deal-breakers. Here are mine: gambling addiction, drug addiction, married, abusive, cheaters, and/or pathological liars. Any man who does NOT have the foregoing issues and who can carry on a decent conversation has a very good shot with me.
The craziest thing is that people think we are too strong to need someone because we are attorneys. If you only knew... We've merely been trained to fake confidence, togetherness, and sound mental health when necessary. I highly recommend the movie Laws of Attraction for an inside view on the female attorney:
FYI - I've asked strong men who are married to strong women (whether they be lawyers or something else): "What's sexy about a woman who has a high-power job, doesn't need your money, can go toe-to-toe with anyone, is paid to out-think other intelligent people, and makes her living off of her PASSION?"
THEIR ANSWER?
"She calls me on my bullshit. I can't get away with anything! AND she challenges me body, mind, and soul."
In order to be a strong individual with compassion and conviction (male or female), you need to believe in yourself. It is not about a job title.
ReplyDeleteThat's the dream. After a long day of hard work competing with other guys you can come home to a woman who calls you out on everything and challenges you nonstop. Code for neverending arguments. Only a beta male with no other options would subject himself to such torture
ReplyDeleteI am surprised that you didn't cover the fiscal angle at all. Many marriages end in divorce, particularly to 'career minded' women. They didn't slave for 8 years at school to suddenly be Martha Stewart.
ReplyDeleteI very much doubt that these women who have slaved till 10 pm are going to generously mete out the largess in quantities high enough to make up for the missing relationship, certainly not without a lot of strings attached "I made this money. We are going to St. Bart's!" This is not unreasonable, but that doesn't make it any more palatable.
So...when there is a lot of friction and IF there is a (high) likelihood of divorce...what can a man look forward to?
A woman who is personally trained to, or is good friends with people who can professionally and fiscally rape him. Why invite that risk when there are a lot of girls out there.
Frankly, marrying a toxicologist would be smarter. Yes, she might murder you but murder is illegal. Divorce is not.
"while they remain loved only by their pets". I had to laugh at the assumption that their pets loved them.
ReplyDeleteIt is sad though, that men aren't being honest with such women, preferring to default to the standard "intimidated by your intelligence" obfuscation. The brutal truth is that "high-powered" women are much too masculine to be attractive. If the high-powered woman does not want a girly-man, most men do not want a macho woman. You made your career choice and now you have to live with it. You are not owed a relationship. There is no law, statute or piece of legislation that guarantees that a woman can have whatever she wants. You can, however, take comfort in the fact that you can spend your remaining decades, alone, using your finely-honed ability to argue a point that your problems are somebody else's fault.
Gold in the comment sections.....thanks for the laugh years later
ReplyDelete