My heart aches

By Shannon

I've been staring at this screen for awhile now.  It's my day to post, but I can't seem to find anything to write... or perhaps more accurately, there is too much to write about and I am overwhelmed.  I've found out this week that two long-standing marriages are ending and the end is devastating friends who are dear to me.  My heart aches.

Then there's the victim of the cold case I'm still working on (see here for details).  I watched a video of the victim taken by the police three months before her murder.  I wanted to scream at the screen.  I wanted to tell her to run from the path she's on.  I wanted to warn her that her life was about to end and ask what she wanted her legacy to be, but I couldn't.  The video was taken over 17 years ago and she is nothing more than ashes mixed with dirt in a field.  I can't change the past and my heart aches.

Then there's Japan.  I have a half brother living near Tokyo whom I've never met.  I think I may finally have a lead on him.  Of course electricity is still out in many places, so I cannot contact him.  I wonder if he's okay.  I wonder if he will accept my overture.  I wonder if he could forgive me for our father's sins.  My heart aches.

And don't forget Libya.  Many of my friends and I have talked about the fact that we are not really sure what's going on and we suspect there are things the government is not telling us.  This I know: 

1.  There have been too many deaths in Libya and throughout the Middle East.

And my heart aches.

2.  We should have helped when the revolutionaries had the early momentum.

And my heart aches.

3.  I woke up one morning and I didn't recognize my nation anymore. 
             a.  Since when does France tell us what to do?  Since when does France lead the free world?
             b.  My nation is divided against itself.  I long for September 12, 2001 when we were not
                  divided by race or political ideology, but we were merely brothers and sisters who'd been
                  sucker-punched.  Our vulnerability drew us together then.

And my heart aches.

That's all.  I wish I had more for you today, but I have no words, no insights, no petitions, no commentaries, but I do have a lot of prayers driven by my aching heart.